Relationship Commitments

Ok, so it has been almost 2 weeks now since my last post and loads of stuff has been happening in my life since. The last 3 weeks feel a bit like a roller-coaster, reaching new highs and lows with such speed that it I sometimes struggled to stay in my seat and to just go with the flow.

There have be a lot of new beginnings for me, which is great, but (or better said 'and') also brought up (and continues to do so) some challenges and difficulties. Apart from the fact that I have a new job now and that I'm in the process of setting my self up as a freelance life coach and mentor, the biggest change is that I am now, after almost 2 years, in a new relationship. Puhh, that actually is quiet a big thing for me to say on here, because it makes it so much more official now. And the word that pops straight in my mind now that I associate with a relationship is COMMITMENT.

Hmmm, commitment. This is one big word. One big powerful concept, especially with regards to relationships. What does it actually mean, com-mit-ment? Just by briefly skipping over different definitions of the word, it becomes clear that it can have a lot of different meanings depending on the context. But the definition landed on me most was the following: "when you are willing to give your time and energy to something that you believe in, or a promise or firm decision to do something“.


Okay, so there's something about willingness to invest time in it, its something I believe in, and a promise to take actions. Aha. Well, reflecting back on past situations and relationships I dont think I can say that I've always been the most committed person...hmmmm maybe that's why I've got the nickname "Anna-the Runner????"

If I'm being totally honest with myself than I have to admit that it is difficult for me to stick to something that requires 'work' when it 'hits the wall'. I have a tendency to throw the baby out with the bathwater,  to leave and just start from scratch somewhere  or with someone or something totally new. Be it a hobby,  work or a relationship. The funny thing is though, that I always end up at the same place over and over again....So maybe now it is time to try something different and to check out what it would be like to be committed, and to STAY committed. When not now, then when, hey?

So what are the things I want to be committed to in this relationship?...(very good question Anna...and I hope you do realize that if you write down your commitments here, you have to actually stick to them and cant cop out of it? - Yes, voice of my conscience, I know and that's exactly why I'm doing it! I'm done with running!)

Okay so here are my commitments in this relationship (and the list is expandable):

1. I commit to stay open, honest and curious
2. I commit to considering myself and my partner equally
3. I commit to stay (!) present when crisis hits and to not quit
4. I commit to really showing up in this relationship and letting myself be seen and loved (especially when I fear that I'm not lovable in this moment)
5. I commit to see the innocence in my partner (or at least being willing to)
6. I commit to forgiveness and love
7. I commit to fun, joy and play
8. I commit to support my own and my partner's growth process
9. I commit to stay in this relationship at least until I know who I'm in relationship with

I'm sure there are plenty more commitments but these are the main ones that spontaneously popped into my head.

I dont think its gonna be easy for me to stick to all of them, but I think that by setting my intention, I make a clear statement towards what my goal in this relationship (in fact for all my relationships) is. It's about who I want to be, who I want to be when I'm in a relationships. A question that I never considered before, but a question that I now need to answer, if I dont want loose myself again.

Sooo.....interesting times are ahead of me, and I'm very excited what wonderful moments, experiences and opportunities this journey will bring us. (uhhh, there is the first 'us' already :-)