Me and Anni

I just wanted to share with you what a wonderful weekend I had with Anni. Oh, I guess not everyone knows who Anni is...well met me introduce her. Anni is the cutest, most loveable and innocent inner child you could ever imagine. She's lives right inside my heart and sometimes wanders around in my tummy if she wants to talk to me. She has this beautiful gentle and quiet voice, which I only began to notice (because it is so soft) a couple of years ago and im learning more and more to understand her unique language the more I begin to 'calm down' and stop running away from it. I think for many many years I thought that she was something I needed to escape from, not realising that I was trying to run away from my self and with that dismissed the most wounded part inside of me...

...so now that me and Anni are beginning to get to know each other, or better said I'm beginning to acknowledge her again and listen to her needs and wishes (and trust me, wee Anni is quiet demanding, or maybe just in need of a lot of healing, joy and unconditional love), I'm trying to spend more and more qualitative time with her. As I'm writing this I am aware that some folks may think I'm schizophrenic and have a split personality, but rest assured dear friends all is well with me, really well :-)

So yesterday, I took Anni out to the park, actually just a walk but then she led me to this playground and we ended up on the swings. Wow, I forgot how much fun it is to swing, to let yourself fall back and watch the sky and the trees as you swing from one end to the other. We loved it!!! It was amazing. Being able to let go of everything and to just be a child again and play. Wonderful!!!

And then in the evening we went to watch the ballet Les Esmerald, which was totally over the top and cheesy but sooooo good. And the funny thing was that I actually recognised myself far too many times with the main character and the things she did when she was madly in love, but that is an entire different topic for another day.

And I think because I spend quiet a lot of time with Anni recently I noticed also my ever increasing desire to have some real (human) children of my own... I mean I'm not getting desperate or anything like that but I'm just noticing how I'm beginning to nest, to connect and heal my inner child and it all feels like preparation for the real thing, well baby I mean.....and obviously there is still a key ingredient missing but I'm sure that will come in time.

So for now, I love love love spending time with Anni, to laugh with her, to cry with her, to play with her.

And I want to encourage you all to make some time for your little inner child and to just PLAY, PLAY, PLAY.