Donnerstag, 22. September 2011

The night of day (I lost count) of The Forgiveness Project

Dreams are frigging weird things, right? I mean we all know about how your mind and unconscious  is 'working through' stuff in our dreams but last night I actually had a physical manifestation of my unconscious or conscious, or whatever part of my mind that was, getting rid of something in a physical way. basically what happened was that, as i was dreaming away, as you do (and obviously i cannot remember what i was dreaming about) i suddenly felt really sick and i was actually being sick. i mean i was being sick in my mouth which woke me up. isnt that disgusting? in my dream i was being sick all over my bed and i panicked so i woke up (but i only dribbled a little bit so no need to worry). i could still taste this horrible sickness taste in my mouth when i woke up and had to get up then to brush my teeth.

first of all, im incredibly grateful that im not sharing my bed with anyone apart from my noggi (which is my little cushion that i had since im 3 zears old) because imaging waking up next to someone whose just been sick in her mouth...not a good look!! and secondly, thank you god for waking up in time and not choking on it and dying...i can already see the headlines....'women, 27, died on her own sickness 2 days before her birthday!' thank god that that didnt happen.

but anyway, i was telling me mum about it this morning and she screamed out full of joy and exclaimed how fantastic this would be and how amazing my body is for freeing itself from toxins and bad energies which it doesnt want to contain anymore. Hmmm....i didnt quiet look at it this way before but that is exactly what my mutschka (thats what i call my mum) is for, she always shows me new ways of looking at things. So my wonderful body detoxed itself from all the bad energies, thoughts and feelings I carried yesterday and found a way to 'liberate' itself from it. I must admit, that is pretty awesome. what a great body i have :-)

I've dont only detoxed my body from those negative emotions but also my mind. And this is the beauty of staying open and curious, especially when we hit a crisis. It is so easy to just stay in attack and blame and not look at what we can learn about ourselves and maybe own up to and change behaviours that are not so helpful anymore. And what keeps popping up for me is that I could do with being at least a wee bit more mindful, 'present' and rooted. That would prevent a lot of conflict and struggle at work and would help me to feel a bit more calm inside and less restless.

So , my commitment to myself is to be more mindful in whatever it is i'm doing, to remind myself to ground myself whenever possible and to breathe. And i suppose these are also important components of forgiveness, because they all help in the process of letting gooooooo....

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